Well, Hello!! It’s been almost an entire semester since I have been on here….Last time I wrote about a boy it was about this guy from France. Well, I’m happy to say this boy is just a friend and will never be anything more. See, there is this incredible man of God I have to tell you about :)
This man, makes me feel like I am the most special girl in the world, and lets me know that I am :) Here is our story so far…well my part anyway…Last semester I really liked this French guy…but one day I started talking with the other guy..He seemed pretty cool, like an older brother sorta deal and was really funny and really nice…so my feelings for French guy started peacing out on me. I went away for Columbus Day and started being interested in this new guy…to the world he may seem like a normal guy typical 19 year old, but something really stuck out to me. Now, I was informed by a girl I go to school with to be careful about my rebounding feelings for the French guy. So I pushed all those feelings away and didn’t really like anyone for a while.
Me and this new guy started hanging out more and more and I started developing feelings for him really fast. I mean really fast, we started texting, which wasn’t smart….but we just talked all the time, he never text me I always text him, but thats okay, he doesn’t text people first anyway. So we started to get to know each other, super well. He would ask me what was wrong, I told him. Every time. I didn’t want to lie to him because it seemed like he liked me. So, he and some other friends came home with me right before the first semester ended and we went on a walk together. He told me some stuff that has affected him in his past and we talked about our feelings towards one another…Basically, I liked him. He had no feelings for me at all in that way…I was like a “best friend/sister” and I was okay with that..though still hurt because we were so close. We literally could communicate by just looking at one another. At this point we had broken the 16 week rule on campus. We talked about feelings toward one another. So life continued and we talked all the time. He was trying to help me get over my feelings for him and I was trying to help him see that he had to have feelings for me or something was seriously wrong.
During Week of Prayer I felt like God told me that we shouldn’t have any contact at all during the week…till Sunday. Even though it ended on friday night. So, we waited and were finally able to talk on Sunday. BTW’s the worst week ever!!! I missed him so much, it was so hard to focus, he was so hurt, I was so hurt…it was good for us, but still so hard and so lame sauce! Sunday…a wonderful day :) We talked alone after lunch till dinner time. I had told him that I talked with the Dean of Woman and she said that she felt we either needed to be in a relationship or back wayyyyy off. He told me that he would much rather be in a relationship with me than stop being as close as we are. YAY!! He then finally told me that he liked me and it took the Week Of Prayer for him to realize that. We ended up telling our closest friends and began to try and “figure things out.” our feelings developed super duper fast after that. We could finally act the way we wanted to and not be afraid of the other person, it was amazing! Soon we were becoming exclusive and privately talking all the time, hugging for a long time and it became apparent to us and everyone around us that we just weren’t building a healthy relationship. So, someone stepped in.
Enter my brother!!!! Most amazing big brother ever!!! Love that guy, he took us out for coffee and helped us set some goals and how to approach this relationship healthily. It took a couple weeks for us to finally act on it, but it happened :) After coffee he took us to a pier. The best time ever. Let me tell you something, I couldn’t have dreamt it up myself if I tried. Legit. Amazing. But I shouldn’t go into details, not much happened aside from staring at each other and one amazing hug. After that night we still talked all the time “trying” to “figure out” what to do and set boundaries…problem was, we were only talking and not actually setting any.
His birthday came :) and we went all out! I got a new amazing dress with amazing shoes and my brother did my hair and one of my best friends did my make up :) He was blown away and heller!! I looked amazing! it was an incredible night…especially just talking with him afterwards out on the porch….however, as amazing as that night was, the hug at the very end of the night was around 5-10 minutes long. He just held me. It was an amazing feeling, I felt so safe and protected in his arms. But, we both know that it’s not God’s time yet, so it was like we were defrauding each other from what God could have for us. Not OK! That next night I wrote out boundaries. So flipping hard, we finally set it. Where I just limited my physical contact to 1 hug a week, which sounds super lame, but had to be done, he said no physical contact at all because of the feelings that were rising in the both of us. Anyway, it has been one incredible journey so far. We just left on break and had to say goodbye with out a hug. It sucked…but was okay. Here’s the deal:
When I was younger and even now my Dad would open almost every door for my Mom. I grew up with it. One thing I alway told myself was that I wanted a man who would open every door, not just a regular door, but my car door. Now this man, it’s sort of a joke about opening doors, he always does, unless I get there first :-p but today as I was leaving he reached out and opened my car door. We didn’t hug or anything, he was the first man besides my Dad that has ever opened a car door for me. I told him that I was sad that other girls could get hugs from him but I couldn’t and he asked if I wanted a hug, I told him I did, but wanted to respect his boundaries and wouldn’t cross them. He thanked me. I drove away. I miss him.
Here is the thing: This man is everything I could ever ask for, and I just can’t explain it to anyone. This is just a brief overview of our story…so far :) There are so many details…I would love to tell them…just ask :) He is incredible and just so amazing…I just pray that God has His way in my love story, whether it continues or ends(Which would suck) and a new one begins. I have faith in Him. Like I never have before. :) be encouraged young ladies, Some day your prince will come :)
